Chapter V · The church

The Hollow See

Where the faith is kept, who keeps it, and when it is open (never).

The Hollow See is the seat of Nevanism. It stands at an address withheld from the unpaid. Those who have paid will not be told either, but they will feel better about it.

The building is said to be very beautiful. It has a nave, a vestry, a gift shop,1 and a large central room in which nothing is kept. That room is the holiest place in the faith. Please do not touch it. There is nothing to touch, but please do not touch it anyway.

Opening Hours

Public holidays: closed. Christmas: very closed.

The faith is kept by the clergy, who are called the Hollow. They wear robes in a colour the Hollow See describes as “a green that has given up.” Their duties are to collect, to recite, and to stand very still near the gift shop.

The Distracted
Everyone else. You, until recently.
Novice
Has read Chapter I. Has questions. Has been billed for them.
Adherent
Owns at least one Writ and one tote bag.
The Hollow
The clergy. Collects, recites, and stands very still near the gift shop.
The Arch-Hollow
Founder of the faith. Wrote the entire Canon in one afternoon, with a break for snacks.
Plate IV. The Ranks of the Faithful, from least to most billed.

The sacraments of the Hollow See include the Sacrament of the Unanswered Email, the Sacrament of Leaving a Party Without Saying Goodbye, and the Sacrament of Staring at the Ceiling. All are performed alone. Attendance is mandatory.

Weddings may not be held at the Hollow See, as marriage is a Distraction for two. Funerals are welcome. They are mostly the same event, the Hollow notes, with different catering.

  1. The gift shop is the only part of the Hollow See that is open. It is open always. ↩